Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Dawn Gets Elbowed in the Boob


Have you ever noticed that attending a children's event is much like a contact sport? It dawned on me this evening.


Rushing my little eggplant, yes, I said eggplant, down the sidewalk with few minutes to spare before the first grade musical, I was tripped by a woman with a stroller who was trying to beat my little purple-headed son to the entrance. Apparently she thought my vegetable was going to get a better position than her weed. I sincerely apologized for breaking my toenail on her toddler's steel-tipped boots, kissed my little veggie, and off I went in search of a seat.


Well, it was standing room only. Not really. There were a few dozen single seats, but everyone said he/she was "saving the chair". I checked my breath, my underarms, and my zipper. Nope, minty, spring breezy, and zipped up. Maybe they thought the blood on my toe would give them hepatitis. I don't know. I do wonder what kind of party those few dozen folks were having in the bathrooms though, 'cause I never saw them appear. hmmmm


So off I go to stand to the side. Little did I know that I was in the mosh pit zone. As the springtime production began, I was patiently standing out of everyone's view, when suddenly, we were swarmed on all sides by photog families! Sweet voices singing, little snippets of flowers dancing. I couldn't see my little eggplant darnit! I said to myself, "It is okay. When the boy has his solo, they'll let me through to get one picture, right? Nope. Here's the booby part.


I saw a little merlot-colored head bob to the front of the stage, so I said, "Excuse me please." to the 6 ft tall (6 inch spike heels, skinny jeans, and a tube top) woman in front of me. Whhhelll, you'd a thought I asked for one of her shoes! She stuck her hand on her hip, did a little Beyonce twitch, and with that, knocked me back to the wall with a bruised right breast without so much as ever looking at me! I should've tried crawling through her knees, but I DID find a way around thanks to the nice elderly man in a wheelchair who let me climb OVER his knees. I caught the best part...Gabriel's sweet little falsetto singing about taking care of the earth. Ahhhh, the tears!

(Over the singing eggplant, not the boob.)


Next time, I'm taking a stroller, steel-tipped boots, and a Madonna bra.





Monday, May 24, 2010

It's a New Dawn

Wow, I am new to this, so it is "a new dawn" for me. I've never considered a public writing forum, but I tend to hold few secrets, love writing, and it was suggested to me that everyone enjoys a little quirkiness in others. So here I am to talk to myself. I imagine that if absolutely no one reads this, it will still bring me some contentment and occassions to giggle at myself.


If there is such a thing as adding music to this blog; my song of the day would be Pink Floyd's, "Is Anybody Out There". THERE, now it is stuck in my head & maybe yours as well! Like most right-brained folks, I always have a song playing in my head ad nauseum. How 'bout you? Yesterday the song was, "I Can't Wait to Be King"... but more on that later. Maybe I'll be like singer/songwriter/comedian Jonathan Coulton and have a song-a-day.


I'm one of those terribly annoying people who are reminded of a song from a phrase or a simple spoken word, and I must burst out with that matching OFF-KEY melody. But what am I to do? If I don't let it out, it'll bounce around my skull for hours. For example, I typed the word, "yesterday" a few seconds ago. Guess what I tapped on the I-Phone to sing along with?

Yup, you are correct sir.


Okay, only want to do this once. Here's the vitals (feel free to scroll...I know I will): I am the second of three kids to an average middle class family. I definately have middle-kid-syndrome. I grew up in Allentown, PA and Naples, FL. I earned a Master's in Education for the University of Florida. I am 42. I have three children of my own; Kohleen (18), Gabriel (7), and Emma (4). My husband is quite incredible. My mom is my best friend. I teach. Phew, that's enough of that!


I'm not exactly how this works, so I'll do what is pretty typical for me: research the crud out of it. :) An author I read calls that type of personality, "input" and it fits. I do love my factoids. For example, I'm going to count how many time I used the word, "I" in these five short paragraphs...hmmm...hmmmm...ummmhhhhhmmm...double-check...hmm...yup...umhmmm...THAT DOES IT! 34 (including other personal pronouns)! That settles THAT. I'm narcassisic....holy cow, that's 35!